I have a headache. Not a migraine, just a dull headache. Starting to feel depressed again. I try to find happiness and joy, but then the self doubt and loathing and unhappiness pushes through.
I can’t stand Joe right now. Not even a little bit. I don’t know why we are married. I don’t think we make each other happy anymore. I know I have given up trying. I also know you are supposed to work at marriage too. I just don’t want to anymore.
He’s not a bad guy. Everyone loves him. He is the life of the party and the family storyteller. And I feel guilty for not being happy with him. Maybe that’s it. I feel guilty for not being happy with what I have….I don’t know. I sure feel like crap. And I am tired of feeling alone. *sigh* I need a life outside of my life.
Wandering and Pondering 